I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
