he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
