I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
