Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
