All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Pants 0. Shit 1.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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