i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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