so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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