I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
