I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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