I just saw a hot homeless man
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
