i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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