woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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