I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
