Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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