So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
ttyl tear gas
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
