tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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