I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
