After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
