I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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