your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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