I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
