Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
