i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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