i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I could fuck to npr.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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