im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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