She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
