please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
