Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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