that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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