Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
