hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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