dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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