Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
