I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
