kristin has been a bad kristin
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
