hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
