so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have feelings that need drinking.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
