The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
