And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Randomize
