I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
