she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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