We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
