Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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