guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
