i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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