so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
