Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
