We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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