my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
