Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
