He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
