The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
