dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
