wanna go halves on a baby?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
