sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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