The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
