I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
