Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize