At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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