jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
