we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
