She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
